You know you're from Florida when....
Here's what requirements need to be met:
- You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
- You have
more than 300 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.
- Your pantry
contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O's.
- You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood
covering your windows.
- When describing your gutted house to a prospective
buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and an open air
feel to it.
- Your SSN
isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
- You are on
a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
- You are delighted
to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
- The road leading to your
house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
- You decide that your patio
furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
- You own more than
three large coolers.
- You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane
and not feel the least bit guilty
- You rationalize helping a friend board up by
take a gallon of gas to get there and back"
- You have 2-liter
coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in
your freezer Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain;
today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
catch a 13-pound red fish - in your house.
- You can recite from
memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
- You consider
a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
- At cocktail
parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
- 1You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
- There is a roll
of tar paper in your garage.
- You can rattle off the names of three
or more meteorologists who
work at the Weather Channel.
- Someone comes to your door to tell you
they found your roof.
- Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
- Your "drive-thru" meal
consists of MRE's and bottled water.
- Relocating to South Dakota
does not seem like such a crazy idea.
- You spend more time on your
roof then in your living room.
- You've been laughed at over the phone
by a roofer, fence builder or
a tree worker.
- A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment
- 2You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during
- Your child's first words are "hunker down" and
you didn't go to Ole Miss!
- Having a tree in your living room does
not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
- Toilet Paper is elevated to coin
of the realm at the shelters.
- You know the difference between the"good side" of a storm
and the "bad side."
- Your kids start school in August and
finish in July.
- You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy
the air conditioning.
Florida, Hurricane, florida resident, Toilet Paper, adult humor, adult jokes, bathroom wall sayings
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