Killer Bisquits Wanted for Murder

(the actual AP headline)

 

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and
while she was there she went out to a nearby supermarket to pick up some
groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up
and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and
walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and
she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied
that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her
brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors
were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough
on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from
the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad
of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find
out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She
initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains
in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's not relevant.

 

 

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adult humor, AP news, killer, murder, bisquits, blonde jokes, adult jokes, bathroom wall sayings